7wks5dys..moving right along...

Heyyyyyy! I have not posted for a while. Nothing has changed much, still have God-awful morning sickness. I FINALLY got my Psi Bands in the mail and had them on all day Monday. They seemed to work a bit that day.....until Tuesday. Tuesday SUCKED!!!!!!! I felt like ASSSSSS all day long, to the point that I just wanted to cry. I took Lilly and my niece, Eva to the pool to swim. The outdoor pool was closed so we had to brave the indoor pool with hundreds of screaming camp kids everywhere. The pool makes me feel better but when you have 25, 7yr old boys splashing eachother at the same time and you are in the middle of the melee trying to help your 2 yr. old daughter swim and watch your 5yr old niece at the same time....it wasn't pretty. I'm usually so laid back but I found myself actually telling these boys to stop splashing??? Stop splashing!! They are at camp in a pool!! What am I a crazy lady??...ha..ha.. I know I'm complaining about nothing, basically b/c if I had no m/s I'd be totally fine...but with the m/s, everything affects me negatively. I just had a realization this morning reading a post from tootlebug on SAIF about how she can't take her m/s anymore. I'm SOOOOO there too, honey!
But it was then that I realized that all the feelings I've had lately are mostly b/c I am just overwhelmed and exhausted by the m/s. So much so that I haven't been at all able to focus on the fact that I am going to have two more gorgeous children. I remember when I was pregnant with Lilly and having the same horrid m/s and going through the same feelings in the first trimester. I actually had a brief feeling of relief this morning reminding myself that this won't last forever (jeez, I hope it doesn't) and I'll be able to really enjoy my pregnancy when the 2nd trimester comes along. Man, I cannot wait for that to get here. I sort of feel like I've had a bit of the baby blues this past couple of weeks since I found out we are having twins. I know it's from the m/s and I know it's absolutely crazy to have these feelings since Devon and I worked so damn hard to get pregnant. And I am so thrilled to be pregnant with twins!! But there are times when I'm overwhelmed at the thought of instantly having 3 kids. I think I'm just still trying to let this information sink into my head. So I'm trying to remind myself that this will get better. In just a few more weeks???

"I See One....And There's Two!!".....GASP!

TWINS!!!!!!!!!!! I can hardly wrap my brain around this concept. I think Devon and I are in shock. So these were the amazing words spoken by the u/s tech that was doing my ultrasound. I immediately burst into tears and when she showed me their strong, beating hearts...omg, I was beside myself. I think I had an out-of-body experience, actually. I just think these two weeks of having a nice high beta#, having bouts of nausea regularly, getting a pouch (yes, already! ; ), eating like I have a tape worm, forgetting everything important, having terrible crabapple swings and driving Devon crazy, I just really didn't feel like this has actually happened and I'm actually pregnant. Today, when she announced twins, the reality hit me like I was Roadrunner crashing into a cement wall at breakneck speed (in a fabulous way, of course!). I am still so stunned beyond belief that in 9 months I am going to be a mommy of three!!!! Three babies; Lilly and her two siblings!! Dear God, I am so blessed, I cannot thank you enough for guiding me to this place that I am right now. We prayed everynight when we said our blessings before bedtime and our prayers have been answered. I have to say though, that through all of my happiness right now, there is much bittersweet sadness in my heart too. It is so difficult to continuously read about all of my nestie friends who are still struggling with IF and have gone through much, much more difficulty than I have. I have prayed for them and will continue to pray every night for them. I know in my heart and soul they will be mommies one day. I truly believe every one of them deserve this piece of absolute beauty in life. I haven't accomplished many brave, admirable or tremendous things in my life, but giving birth to my incredible gift, Lilly, and becoming a mom has been the most rewarding thing I have ever, ever done. I really hope and pray those special women dealing with infertility will not give up their dreams b/c there is nothing.....nothing in the world like being a mom.

More Pregnancy Brain- 6wks/1day Pregnant

Okay, I just got back from the pool with Lilly. When I got home, I quickly took off my bathing suit bottoms and put on a clean, dry pair of granny panties (yes, I'm already there!). In the next moment I had a face full of dill pickles and american cheese. After feeling slightly relieved, I found myself contemplating the hot day (it's hot hot today...well for New England, it's like 87 degrees and humid) and how dry and parched my plants must be. So what did I do next? I went outside, grabbed my green watering can, filled it up and proceeded to quench the thirst of my power pink impatiens hanging on my deck. I took my time, filled it up nicely and whistled while I picked the faded, dead petals off the plant. When I was done I went inside, decided I was still hungry and grabbed the white cheddar cheese doodles out of the cabinet (I know, more fantastic nutrients for my growing bean. I promise I'll eat better tonight!). As I sat there munching away, I realized with horror what had just taken place. I held my doodles away from my lap, looked down and what did I see? My lovely granny panties staring back at me. So okay, the reality is sinking in that I was actually outside for a good 3 or so minutes in my granny panties. Oh holy hell.

I Love Weekends!

It was so nice to spend three days as a family together. I love it when Devon has more days off than just the normal 2-day weekend. Now is even more special b/c he can help me out with Lilly while I suffer endlessly (okay, enough drama queen!) with nausea and exhaustion. He is such an amazing dad to Lil. They are the best of buddies, they play nonstop and it's so much fun watching them. Lilly had her 2 yr. doctor's appt. this morning. The poor babe had a Hepatitis shot and then they took a small bit of blood to test her for lead. She was so scared and I absolutely HATE putting her on the table for a shot. To see your child's face, filled with tremendous fear of what is going to happen to her, is totally gut-wrenching. She did really well though, I think most of her tears come from being scared than the actual shot. She didn't want to stand on the scale by herself to get weighed (who the hell does??) so the nurse had me stand on the scale with Lilly for a total, and then by myself. Then she subtracted my weight from our total. Can you imagine my humiliation??? First off, I've been eating everything but the kitchen sink lately...do you really think I'm mentally or emotionally ready to stand on a scale these days???? Shit, I ate an entire piece of white chocolate macadamia cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory last night!!! Didn't this nurse get the memo???! So, I was literally 130 lbs at my yearly physical about 3 weeks ago.......ready? The nurse today weighed me at 134. CRAP!!!! I'm in trouble already. Tomorrow, I hit the gym again!! That's it!!
Oh what the hell, pass the Ben and Jerry's!!

I'm Hungry, I'm Hungry....Did I mention I'm Starving???

God help me. The M/S has come in like a raging lion. Yesterday was my first real day experiencing it and just like last time I was pregnant, this crap lasts all day and if I don't have a constant stream of calories filling my face, I feel like I'm going to vomit or cry with reckless abandon. I was trying to be so good too. I have been exercising every other day and really eating healthy. Now that this has hit me with a full wallop, I'm soooooooo scared to deal with it. I guess I really have no choice, eat or be miserable..ha..ha. Just don't mention red meat to me b/c I will really turn green. On that note, Devon, Lilly and I are going down to Scituate to visit with in-laws Saturday night. I am sooooooooo thrilled to have a babysitter for all the kiddos and all the adults are going out to EAT!!! I can NOT freaking wait to eat something really good and I don't have to cook it myself. Yayyyyyyyyy! Did I mention I love food? And there have been numerous post about SMORES lately on SAIF (ladies, you know who you are..ha..ha). Now I'm craving one of those damn things!..LOL!

Oooooh That Smells!!!

As any pregnant woman knows, the first trimester is THE HARDEST one to get through. When that "morning" sickness hits...lookout! Hold onto your hats (and your food if you're near a pregnant woman) b/c it's going to be a bumpy ride for the next month or two. All I can say is "whaaaaa", here it comes. This morning, my husband was making coffee and cooking something, I don't know what, but it was wafting up the stairs as I lay in bed. Right away, I just felt my stomach start to churn. Here we go. I made an enchilada bake with ground turkey about a week ago and for some damn reason everything I cook, or Devon cooks, smells like that turkey...uuugh. I can't get the taste out of my mouth!! I think that is why all I want to eat are fruits and vegetables. They help to clean out my palate. I remember when I was pregnant with Lilly, I just had this disgusting meaty aftertaste in my mouth after everything I ate. I'm talking NASTY, reallllly nasty, to the point I was brushing my teeth constantly. This time around, it's going to be that lovely ground turkey....gross! One tip for anyone going through this is sucking on breath mints or some other kind of candy. I couldn't go to work without a stash of gum and lollipops. I also existed on lemonade and sparkling water. Regular water used to make me gag-a-rooni! I'm in for the long haul...and I did see someone post about Sea Bands, for nausea. You can bet I am going to be searching high and low to get me some of those!!!

Pregnancy Brain....5weeks, 3days pregnant

I've already got a bad case. Yesterday, Lilly and I had an action-packed day. I dropped Lilly off at the YMCA babysitting and went for a modified run/walk on the treadmill, light weights and stretching. We went to the pool afterwards and then had lunch. After that we went to the library to drop off some books and off to the playground. We ended the day stopping at the grocery store to pick up milk, bread and eggs.....and cheese b/c I absolutely cannot exist without some kind of cheese in the house. When I got home, suddenly it hit me. I completely forgot that Lilly had her 2nd year physical scheduled for 4:30pm!!! I whipped my head around to see the clock on the wall in the kitchen and what do you think it read??...yup, 4:45pm. I have never forgotten an appointment before, especially one so important as Lilly's physical. Uuuuugh. I felt so bad. Thankfully they were able to reschedule for Monday of next week. Well I guess she dodged a bullet b/c she is supposed to get a shot...poor baby! I must add, the shots, by far (well minus any impromptu emergency room visits) are the hardest thing to endure as a mother to your baby!!!